Yes, having a celebrant (or minister) is essential to having your marriage legalised, and yes, there are certain things we have to say in order for your ceremony to be legal. But outside of what is legally required, the ceremony actually has nothing to do with the celebrant.
I’ve talked about the legal stuff in a previous post here, but this post is about what in my opinion really makes a ceremony.
And the answer is, YOU!
Your family, friends and loved ones have gathered to witness you and your Fiance get married, not to watch a celebrant waffle on about a bunch of stuff that doesn’t actually reflect you. I consider it my job, as your celebrant, to help you articulate how you feel, or better yet, help you put pen to paper to write something straight from the heart.
Some of my favourite ceremonies happened recently at our Pop-up event in May. Most of the couples had their own vows, my job was to help them get their vows together before hand, make sure their legal vows were slipped in at the right moment, and to witness it. One couple had written such amazing vows that I handed over the mic, held the brides flowers for her, and got the heck outta the way! The entire ceremony was me saying the Monitum, them speaking directly to each other, and then signing the docs.
So you love the idea of having this really personal ceremony, but that scares the heck out of you, or you hate public speaking or your just afraid your going to cry your eyes out if you actually say what your heart is feeling at that moment. THIS is why you hire a celebrant.
Not so you have someone standing in the back of your first kiss shot grinning like a weirdo, and reading out ‘Ceremony 6’ with the 2 readings you chose out of a book. In my opinion its the celebrants job to help make your ceremony authentic.
The best celebrants (totes including me!) will take the time to get to know you both, chat to you heaps to help you feel comfortable and safe to get those emotions flowing. They will of course put a ceremony together that has the right feel that suits you both, assist you in writing vows, and hopefully get the balance of happy tears and laughing just right 🙂