Getting to know Bianca

Here are a bunch of random truths about me, that may inspire you to get in touch…or close the tab.

I’ve became a Celebrant in 2012, which was shortly after my wedding.

My maiden name is Skeggs, and the homes I would draw as a kid were always in the shape of a B and an S, the centres of the B were atriums, and the entire S was a garage…. 6 year old Bianca had no idea how bloody annoying that would have been

I’m mad about my little family, which consists of my wonderful husband Rob, our 6 year old daughter Delila and our 2 year old son Hugo.

My middle name isn’t Danger, although sometimes I tell people it is.

I am obsessed with Harry Potter, and even have a HP inspired tattoo #sorrynotsorry

My phone is never more than a few feet away from me, and due to this proximity I tend to respond to emails pretty quick, even at 11pm

I have an addiction to online shopping, which also happens at 11pm, however thankfully I am much more in the less is more boat with regards to “stuff”… unless its work clothes

I am a Leo

I’m also addicted to Pinterest, and it has played an essential role in the renovation of my homes and the planning of my travels.

I have a ridiculous sense of humour, and movies like Anchorman and Stepbrothers have a direct line to my funny bone.

I’m pretty straight to the point, life it too short to bullshit.

I love being in the garden and getting my hands dirty with the kids, and am hoping to set up a lot of herb, vegetable, play and potion spaces in the backyard.

I live in the house my Grandparents built in 1970, and spoke about my love for it and Fisher in this article with Her Canberra…

Fall in love with Fisher

I’m a bit alternative, and loved doing barefoot wedding ceremonies and the odd smudge here and there.

Rob and I honeymooned in Cambodia, and it was rad.

I travelled to the UK in 2012, and have returned twice since, because every time I go I leave some of my heart behind.

I blog from my phone, late at night, and sometimes my thumb hits the fullstop key instead.of the space. The late night thing is also my excuse for the occasional typo, because hey, I’m only human.

Your Ceremony has nothing to do with your Celebrant

Celebrancy

Yes, having a celebrant (or minister) is essential to having your marriage legalised, and yes, there are certain things we have to say in order for your ceremony to be legal. But outside of what is legally required, the ceremony actually has nothing to do with the celebrant.

I’ve talked about the legal stuff in a previous post here, but this post is about what in my opinion really makes a ceremony.

And the answer is, YOU! Bianca helping Sarah and Rick get through their vows

Your family, friends and loved ones have gathered to witness you and your Fiance get married, not to watch a celebrant waffle on about a bunch of stuff that doesn’t actually reflect you. I consider it my job, as your celebrant, to help you articulate how you feel, or better yet, help you put pen to paper to write something straight from the heart.

Some of my favourite ceremonies happened recently at our Pop-up event in May. Most of the couples had their own vows, my job was to help them get their vows together before hand, make sure their legal vows were slipped in at the right moment, and to witness it. One couple had written such amazing vows that I handed over the mic, held the brides flowers for her, and got the heck outta the way! The entire ceremony was me saying the Monitum, them speaking directly to each other, and then signing the docs.

Bianca Way Canberra Celebrant moves out of the way

So you love the idea of having this really personal ceremony, but that scares the heck out of you, or you hate public speaking or your just afraid your going to cry your eyes out if you actually say what your heart is feeling at that moment. THIS is why you hire a celebrant.
Not so you have someone standing in the back of your first kiss shot grinning like a weirdo, and reading out ‘Ceremony 6’ with the 2 readings you chose out of a book. In my opinion its the celebrants job to help make your ceremony authentic.
The best celebrants (totes including me!) will take the time to get to know you both, chat to you heaps to help you feel comfortable and safe to get those emotions flowing. They will of course put a ceremony together that has the right feel that suits you both, assist you in writing vows, and hopefully get the balance of happy tears and laughing just right 🙂

Images captured by Silque Photography and Design at our Popup Wedding held under the stunning elm tree at Poachers Pantry. Flowers by the amazing Moxom & Whitney , styling by Style My Aisle

Why would I Pop-Up?

Celebrancy

So I should be folding washing as the couch in my bedroom seems as if it’s suffocating under the epic pile of clothes that have lived there for a few days (maybe more like a week) but instead, like usual, my mind is on weddings.

Late last year I came across Josh Withers’ Facebook page, he is a super prominent Celebrant and I instantly wanted to learn from him. Within the same half hour I found the Popupwed.co site. The Pop-Up Wedding is the brain child of Josh’s fabulous wife Britt. I read all about it and thought, “this belongs in Canberra.”

I approached Ash from Silque Photography and Design, who I’ve worked with before and always admired her photographic eye, to see if she would be keen to do a Pop-up in Canberra, like me she was all over the idea, so the next step was chatting with Britt.

What happened over the next few days felt like one of those explosion montages you see in brainwashing movies. What you got were four profoundly passionate wedding professionals, with the same sense of humour, the same work ethic, and the same drive to bring this amazing concept to the nation’s capital. And with that, Pop-Up Canberra started.

Since launching I’ve been asked a heap of questions from Canberrans about what the heck is this Pop-Up thing? And I’m going to send you straight to the source for all the info ( http://popupwed.co) . But in its essence it is a fancy elopement. The ACT and Tasmania are the only two states (slash territories) that do not have any form of registry marriage set up, and for us the closest registry wedding is in Sydney, and that will set you back $507 for a weekend wedding. Which is in a nicely set up back room… With no pretties, and for me, there has to be some form of pretty something on one of the most significant days of your life.

So Pop-Up handles the pretty. We tirelessly sourced incredible local vendors like Style My Aisle and Moxom and Whitney, we booked our first venue at the stunning Poachers Pantry, I hook up couples with all the legal whizzbangary, and Ash takes incredible images of the Bride and Groom for them to keep forever and ever. Each couple gets an hour, up to 20 guests, and a no fuss, exceptionally beautiful wedding.

Would I Pop-Up?

Yes, 100%.

I got married in 2012, at the ripe age of 24, at a stunning ceremony and reception in the southern highlands, before I was a celebrant, and before I had any idea what a wedding would or should involve. We had 109 of our nearest and dearest, we had a freakin’ amazing and beautiful traditional-ish wedding (ish because our vows were a bit offbeat and each guest was served butterbeer at the reception).
Now, in hindsight, I’d do it a little differently.

I’m completely enamoured with the idea of having a ceremony that only Rob and I and two witnesses were there for, because my memory of my wedding ceremony was only that. All I remember is Rob. Each day of our marriage, at the end of the day, Rob is the only one there (aside from Delila who is usually spread out in the middle of our bed.) One day we will grow old together, and it will just be him and I.

While having our family there was an important element of the day, most of the extended family would have loved and appreciated however we chose to get married. They never asked for the amazing chefs hat meal and the best drinks package, they only want Rob and I to be happy, and in love forever.

The cost of a wedding can be huge, and totally worth it if it’s all you have ever dreamed of, but had we done it smaller, we would have a deck now and not a large weed filled space out our back door.

My rings, my ceremony, my photos and my video are my precious keepsakes of the day. The gifts, the party and the hangover will be remembered by all who were there, but realistically no one would have been mad had we skipped all that.

With any wedding it’s crucial to remember why you are there, it’s not for your great Aunt Milly to finally see someone walk down the aisle in the family heirloom wedding gown, it’s for you, and your almost husband, to promise that no matter what you will be there at the end of the day together. When the party is over and the toilet lid is left open once again, you will still love each other, hold hands and grow old together.

If a fancy elopement sounds right up your alley (heck let’s do it in an alley (as in get married not whatever else you’re thinking of)) check out the http://popupwed.co/canberra site for more details.

Rituals aren’t just for ‘hippies’

Ceremonies

I often ask couples if they want to include any rituals as part of their ceremony, and I usually get a questionable stink face in return. You know the one where you lift one side of your top lip towards your nose and frown a little. (if you are sitting there practicing your stink face, excellent)

But most people don’t realise that a wedding IS a ritual. Human beings have been developing traditions and customs for centuries, it is the essence of a wedding ceremony, and the legal side of it is the most recent addition to the process. So it’s worth considering what is out there, and what fits you as a couple when considering what to include in your wedding ceremony.

I’m not religious, but marriage is a ritual performed by nearly all religions. Yes there is the legal meaning of marriage, but it is in its essence about love, promise, commitment and the joining of two people. Who ever they may be or whatever they may believe.

The brilliance of booking a civil celebrant is that you can pick and choose what you want to include, so I’ve compiled a bit of a list of some of the rituals out there.

Handfastening
This is an ancient Celtic tradition where the two parties hands are fastened together with ribbon or rope. It is designed to symbolise the joining of the two people as one in marriage.

Broom Jumping
An African tradition, the jumping of the broom is to symbolise sweeping the old negativity away and starting as a new beginning. Sweep, then jump.

Smudging
This is an ancient Shamanic/Native American wedding ritual where the officiant burns a smudging stick for the purpose of cleansing and purifying the marriage.

Sand pouring
This is getting more more popularity in Australia, essentially the bride and groom each pour sand of different colours into one primary vase. The grains of sand symbolise the blending of two people’s lives and as the grains of sand can never be separated, it also is a symbol of unity.

Below is available from Etsy

Hand/foot washing
More formally known as a Purification ritual, the mothers come forward and wash their child’s hands (or feet) as a symbol of a fresh start for their marriage.

Planting a tree
In love this idea, even though with our track record we would probably have killed one by now! As part of your ceremony you plant a little tree and it will grow with you as time passes.

Tieing a knot
I’ve had a couple do this and it was super cute, depending on the knot used (typically a fishermans knot) as it is tied it strengthens under pressure, which is a lovely sentiment about Marriage.

Fight box
No, it’s not a secret club (rule #1 we do not talk about fight box) it’s where together you place items into a box that you know will represent how you feel for eachother the day of your wedding, should you ever experience hardship, you open the box.

This box is also available from Etsy

This is just a selection of rituals out there, if you’re thinking about adding something in that is a little off beat, let me know as I love researching this stuff.

Out with the old and in with the New!

Ceremonies

Late last night, I was laying in bed and I decided that I wanted to change how I ran my business. My role as a celebrant is an important role which carries some weighty responsibilities that I take very seriously. But my business doesn’t have to be something that is too serious. Because, well, I’m not.

From this day forward, I won’t be sending out ceremony examples to any new clients, this isn’t to ‘protect’ my words, but because I feel that the bride and groom are the only ones that can own their ceremony. And thats the same reson why all new clients and I are going to work from scratch, each and every time.

I have lots of readings and poetry in my database, which we can chat about, I have lots of nice fluffy things to add in about Marriage and how awesome it is, but I want to make sure my clients are approaching their ceremony nice and fresh.

One of the tricky things about ceremony writing is that not many people know what they want to include, do they write their own vows? What order should everything go in? Is there stuff you have to say?

There are a few hard and fast rules.

You have to say your full names, I have a dorky middle name and no matter how much I hate it, I had to say it for my marriage to be legal.

I HAVE to say the Monitum:

My name is Bianca Way and I am duly authorised by law to solemnise marriages according to law. Bride and Groom before you are joined in marriage in my presence and in the presence ofthese witnesses, I am to remind you of the solemn and binding nature of the relationship into which you are now about to enter. Marriage according to the law in Australia, is the union of a man and a woman to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life.

You HAVE to say these vows:

I call upon persons here present to witness that I, (Groom Groomy Groom), take you, (Bride Bridey Bride) to be my lawful wedded wife

and

I call upon persons here present to witness that I, (Bride Bridey Bride) take you, (Groom Groomy Groom) to be my lawful wedded husband

Do you have to write more vows of your own? Not technically, but gee it is nice 🙂

Do you have to give rings? No, not if you don’t want to

Do you have to be ‘given away’? Nope, not unless you want to

Is there a specific order? No, but I do have a basic format that I use, depending on what you would like included.

Do I really have to say the Monitum? YES and I’ll explain why in another post.

Your ceremony is yours, my job is to help it be everything you want, and to make sure its legal. One of the best parts of my job is trawling through the internet finding new and unusual rituals, traditions, song lyrics, movie quotes and of course writing as much as I can myself.

I throw around the word ‘Organic” when I am chatting to clients, because I feel that you, your guests, and I need to feel like everything that is being said is true, real and organic to ourselves. Aside from the above few sentences, its all yours.

10690280_708491989237751_651082250022939135_n

The photo above was one of my most unique ceremonies, Rene and Alex had their puppy in their bridal party and I was 8 months pregnant at the time! They also had the poem “Falling in love is like owning a dog”

“Falling in love is like owning a dog,”

First of all, it’s a big responsibility,  So think long and hard before deciding on love. On cold winter nights, love is warm. It lies between you and lives and breathes and makes funny noises. Love wakes you up all hours of the night with its needs. It needs to be fed so it will grow and stay healthy.

Love doesn’t like being left alone for long. But come home and love is always happy to see you. It may break a few things accidentally in its passion for life, but you can never be mad at love for long. 

Love makes messes. Love leaves you little surprises here and there. Love needs lots of cleaning up after. Sometimes you just want to get love fixed. Sometimes you want to roll up a piece of newspaper and swat love on the nose, not so much to cause pain, just to let love know Don’t you ever do that again!

Sometimes love just wants to go for a nice long walk, because love loves exercise. It runs you around the block and leaves you panting. It pulls you in several different directions at once, or winds around and around you until you’re all wound up and can’t move.

Throw things away and love will bring them back, again, and again, and again. But most of all, love needs love, lots of it. And in return, love loves you and never stops”.